it glows. i had to have it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
