Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
