can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
