I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize