his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
