That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
