Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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