Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
