On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
