New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
