Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Randomize
