whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
