there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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