Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Never underestimate the power of titties
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
