Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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