She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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