a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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