i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
