im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
