I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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