I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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