We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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