In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
