we have pet lesbian snakes
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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