He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
