Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
