I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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