It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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