quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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