I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
