She is in my trunk
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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