I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Another day, another engagement, another cat
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize