Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
