No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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