Sponge bath it is.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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