THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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