it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize