Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
as a side note pls kill me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
