I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
