We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
