Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
