somebody snuck up and got me drunk
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
