hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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