Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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