i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
