You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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