Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
how drunk are you?
Several
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
