Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
That accounts for only three of the penises
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
