We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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