so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
well you can't waste a boner
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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