im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
