I'm jealous of your bromance
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
