You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
