you guys were way drunker than both of me
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
