I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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