they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
