I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize