But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
