How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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