did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
