Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
