bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
