Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
