Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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