I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
