Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
