Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
