break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize