Whod you bang
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
birth control should be required to get into college
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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