I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
