Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
