I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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