I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
