Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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